You Don't Get It

It's been forever since I've blogged. Forever. Almost a year I think. There's so much I could write about, but there's one thing that's been bothering me for a while now. I don't know what it is about this one person I know, but I have to address them. Will they ever read this? Mostly likely not. But I just have to get it off my chest.

Dear You-know-who (not Voldemort),

You think you're so great. You think that because you have nice clothes and a perfect manicure with perfect hair, that you're better then me. You think that because you never step out of bounds, never do anything that goes against anyone's grain that you're the shit.

You think that because I am different from everyone, because I'm an individual, that I'm "uncool". Are you in middle school or something? Everyone is different, and I'm proud to be that way. I'm tired of you looking at me like I'm crazy every time I come to you with a creative idea, because you think it's too different, or weird or whatever it is you think about me. Well maybe we need a little bit of "different" and "weird" in our lives.

And don't think I don't see the way you look at me: like you're disgusted. You look at me like I don't get it. Well you know what, I don't. I don't get how you can be so one-dimensional. I don't get how you can not see the big picture, the reason why we're here. I'm a global thinker, and you're self-centered and self-serving. You're here for you, and I'm here for "them". And the funny thing is that you think I don't see the big picture. Because to you, the big picture is all about money. That's what makes you so obnoxious. The big picture has nothing to do with money, it has to do with people and their lives. I almost feel sad for you, that you'll never quite understand what it's like to make a difference to someone.

So I'm weird (although I prefer 'quirky'), but you know what? I'm proud to be that way. I'm proud to not be like everyone else, and I'm especially proud to not be like you. Being quirky and different is what makes me good at what I do. You're old enough now that you should be able to realize that not everyone fits neatly into a box, that you don't have to be ashamed of people who don't. But again, that's why I feel sad for you. You will probably go through the rest of your life thinking that way, afraid of being different, afraid of what others will think of you, and you will miss out on so much.

You just don't get it. And from now on, I'm vowing to myself that I'm not going to get angry with you for that, because really, you're only punishing yourself, and also because it's not worth my time and energy. I'll continue to let my freak flag fly.

Sincerely,
Me

Music & Lyrics

Just listening to my iPod this evening while doing some chores and two songs came on right in a row. Beautiful songs that I hadn't listened to in a while. And I just had to stop and repeat them a few times, because it's funny how they both sort of relate to my life right now. Well, a part of Coppertone always relates to me. There are so many ways to interpret that song that I feel like it relates to pretty much every big situation I've ever had in my life. And you can't just look at the surface of the song to interpret it, because then it's pretty lame. You have to go deeper then what it's saying on the outside.

But anyway, some songs for thought:

Wheel
John Mayer

People have the right to fly
And when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along
Let's move it along

And airports
See it all the time
With someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last,
To love her

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first
To love me

You can find me, if you ever want to give
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around,
I'll be around
And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it (repeat then fade)

I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me


Coppertone
The Academy Is...

Do you think you're up for this?
Are you ready to get undressed
Undressed in your evening best?
Besides, every heart is like a house on fire
With escape routes in every room.
These are the trials of our youth

But this charade is never going to last
So pick the poison and pour yourself a glass
I still feel the same
No one's to blame

I will be waiting outside if you're ready to go
Your sundress reflects in the headlight glow
Besides, every heart is like a house of cards
When the walls break down on you
These are the trials of our youth

But this charade is never going to last
So pick the poison and pour yourself a glass
I still feel the same
These are the fast times
These are the fast times

But this charade is never going to last
So pick the poison and pour yourself a glass
I still feel the same

These mistakes are just a part of the ride
And if we choke on the next tongue that we tie
I still feel the same
These are the fast times
These are the fast times
These are the fast times
These are the fast times

The end of Lost... and other things

I can't believe Lost is over. This season I seriously procrastinated watching the episodes, because I felt like if I watched them at the time they aired, the show would somehow go away quicker. Dumb logic, I know. So I finally finished the series the other night and I'm both happy and sad. Sad because it's over, but so happy that they actually remember being on the island together. I think my biggest fear was that they were all going to just forget each other, and after all they've been through, that would have sucked.

I cried like a baby when Jack died though. It was so sad. Definitely sadder then any of the other deaths on the show. And who else was expecting Richard to just disappear when they were on the plane leaving the island. Well, I thought he would either disappear or would suddenly become some kind of crazy skeleton in his seat. Glad that didn't happen.

Anywho... True Blood season 2 came out, and of course I went right out to buy it. I saw it when it was originally on TV, but that hasn't stopped me from sitting down and watching the episodes one after the other like a big freak. I also have gotten my mom hooked on it. She think the vampires are seriously gross, but watches because it freaks her out so much. Haha. I got the latest Sookie Stackhouse book too, and just haven't had a chance to read it yet. I've been reading Nicholas Sparks, which TOTALLY is NOT my thing normally. But my grandma gave me The Last Song, and I read it just because it was there, and then I wanted to see the movie Dear John, but Sarah told me to read the book first because it's so much better, so now I'm some kind of weirdo Nicholas Sparks fan. I even went out and bought another one of his books because I was told it was really good. I am oddly ashamed of my sudden love for his stories, but oh well. I can't help that he pulls at my heartstrings.

Today I got this weird thing from Netflix that allows me to put a disc into my Wii and play some of the movies in my queue straight from the Wii/internet/TV/whatever. It's pretty nifty, and I can also watch some TV shows. The selection isn't wonderful, but it's pretty good considering that I could watch those streaming movies all day and night, and it won't cost me any extra. Danielle's really excited, because we were just talking about the Witches of Eastwick this morning, and she turned it on and it was one of the first movies to come up. Pretty cool.

I've been falling in love with Lost in Pacific Time all over again, and I've started writing again. Two events that are not-so-related, but really make me feel good.


Oh, BTW, I am so excited about this Peg Connolly Scholarship. I get to go out to Spokanel, WA in September, and while I'm out there I'm going to spend a few extra days and head out to Seattle for the end of the week and into the weekend. I love traveling, and I have always wanted to go out to Washington, so this is the perfect excuse.

The Best Day of My Life (so far)

Last night I went to an event called Arts through the Ages. It focused mostly on the elderly and intergenerational programming, and featured a panel of four young women who have different endeavors in art, writing and drama. I was particularly looking forward to hearing more about the writing program, being a writer myself, and also because I had JUST been talking with my mom and Rachael the day before about at some point doing a research study of the use of writing as a modality with individuals with dementia (and because I just did my whole case study on a huge writing project).

The Best Day of My Life (So Far) is a project created by a woman named Benita Cooper, an architect who was inspired to create this writing project after conversing with her grandmother and hearing all of her wonderful stories. In fact, she's working currently on writing a book filled with her grandmother's stories - something that I've always contemplated since my first grandma day in 2001 (*"grandma day" was created by me in 2001 after reading Tuesdays with Morrie, and becomming obsessed with the concept of spending one day a week with someone you love. I began going to grandma's after school every Tuesday. This lasted all through high school and college, although the days and times have changed through the years. Now they're on Saturdays, when I go over after work, eat dinner with her and then spend the night, and go to work from there on Sunday.) Anywho... Benita was so inspired by her conversations with her grandmother, that she decided to begin volunteering with seniors in the community. Now she has her weekly writing program at Philadelphia Senior Center every Thursday. The participants come together, and given a theme, put their memories to paper. The memories are shared through conversation, and through a blog www.thebestdayofmylifesofar.blogspot.com .

I found the entire thing extremely interesting. After working in recreation my whole life, and then completing my bachelor's in Therapeutic Recreation, I think it's amazing that someone so far removed from the health professions took the time and effort to actually begin a project like this one. I know she's looking for volunteers, so anyone interested can look her up on the blog, or on facebook (search "the best day of my life so far"). I'm hoping to be of assistance with some more clinical aspects of things, but really I'd love to help wherever I can. Hopefully I'll actually have time coming up to do so.

This week I won the Bill Dayton Memorial Award, which is an award for Therapeutic Recreation majors who go "Above and Beyond" what is expected of them for the curriculum. We are expected to do 120 volunteer hours, as well as our two internships. During my life I have volunteered at Open Door Senior Center, completed 3000 volunteer hours at Saunders House, worked in the home of a woman with parkinson's disease, ran a carnival and some other events at Coatesville VA when my grandfather was there, currently work weekends on the dementia unit at Harlee Manor while working Monday - Friday at my internship, and I've presented at two professional TR conferences. So I guess that's above and beyond. It's a very prestigious award, and even has a cash prize, so I'm very very excited about it. Considering that I've never really won much of anything in my life, that makes it even better. Congrats also to Rachael who won Outstanding TR student of the Year, and Jamie, who won the John Noisette Memorial Award for leadership! I think we have some awesome graduates this year.

My internship's been going really well. I really like it at Stapeley in Germantown, and I just enjoy going there everyday. I guess I'm lucky to be having such a good experience.

I've been attending a lot of farewell parties at work places lately, and it really makes me think a lot about my last months at Saunders House. I did 3000 volunteer hours, worked as a receptionist for almost five years, and worked for the dietary and development departments also. Not to mention that I did ALL of my boss' work that she passed off as her own, because she was too busy talking on the phone to her daughters, surfing the internet, and making racist comments to people in front of their faces. After all that, I never even recieved a thank you card. But then again, I guess that's what happens when you work at a really really corrupt place. At that place they got rid of you if you actually knew what you were doing. So sad for the residents who are all still there. Oh well. A million times happier now in a place where i'm being recognized for my hard work and loyalty.

MLK Day poem, and other things...

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote in this thing. Colin came to visit and stayed for about 3 weeks. We had an amazing time, and now that he's gone I miss him sooo much.

I've been working like crazy to try to make enough money to be able to pay my bills during my 40-hour/week unpaid internship. And between the monday through friday internship (starting tomorrow), and working both saturday and sunday at Harlee, I'm probably going to have a nervous breakdown by the time March roles around. Well, all I have to do is keep telling myself that I really really love TR.

This morning we made a group poem at Harlee for MLK day tomorrow. Here it is:
We have a dream...
of peace and happiness and goodwill toward everyone.
Nobody would have to be poor.
There would be no war.
Illness wouldn't exist, and no one would be sick.
There would be no more violence and no more hate.

Cute, right?

So Happy MLK day, everyone.

originally from www.auroracrew.blogspot.com

Life Update

So many things have been happening lately, and I haven't written a blog in so long.

First of all, Colin is here!!!! Yay! He arrived on Thursday night, and I got to spend the rest of Thursday and some of Friday morning with him before he ran off to Reading for a family party. And he would have come home tonight if now for this snow (now he's coming back tomorrow).

So speaking of the snow... it's insane. Today I waited outside in this blizzardy weather for one hour waiting for the 107, and it never came. So my mom decided to get up early and give me a ride to work. Then once I got there (20 minutes late), I called my boss who told me to leave at 2:00 or whenever I felt comfortable (I was supposed to leave at 5). I hung in there until 2:10. It was crazy. I have to be there tomorrow from 10-5, but it's supposed to keep snowing until 11AM tomorrow, so we'll see how things turn out. I'm definitely going to make it in... I'm just not sure what time it will be.

In other news, school's out for winter break. It was my last semester of class... ever! So now I'm free except for this pesky 600 hour internship coming up in mid-January. I'm kinda excited about it. I mean, at least it's not class. And I enjoy working, so it's not THAT big a deal.

Christmas is in six days. Well like five now in two hours. I still have to do like half of my Christmas shopping. I just haven't had any time, and I NEVER leave it off this late normally. But Colin never told me what he wanted (still hasn't, so any outside ideas would be much appreciated), and I just haven't gotten to the store to get my mom's gifts, although I know exactly what I'm getting her.

In February, on the fifth, there is going to be a special concert to celebrate the 5th anniversary of The Academy Is' debut Almost Here. Super exciting, except for the fact that it's in Chicago :( I wsh I could go to that. It would be so much fun. I wonder if they're going to play all of the songs from Almost Here. Tom should make an appearance. That would be pretty funny. I can't believe it's only been five years. It seems like ages and ages ago when I first started listening to them.

Another 5 year reunion is coming up: my high school reunion. Yikes! The prospect of a reunion makes me feel really old. I haven't decided for sure if I'm going yet. We'll have to see. I have a lot of stuff that night, including an invitation to the MLMs album release party. I'm not sure which is more important to me at this point in time, since there are approximately 10 or 11 people who I graduated with who I actually want to see again. Not that I'm NOT open to seeing the other again, but really, if I didn't, it wouldn't be a huge deal.

Oh, btw...

I quit Saunders House. Finally. Thankfully. I'm so happy that I'll be done with that place in less then two weeks. I have never seen a facility decline as drastically as this one. I used to be so proud to work there. I loved going to Saunders House. Now I wouldn't send my worst enemy there. They've laid off or fired every single person that actually cares, and they are driving out the rest of the caring people. And now they're paying ridiculous amounts of money to an incompetent HR company with no healthcare experience. These HR people have no idea. They don't understand quality healthcare. They only care about money money money.

It's become horrible.

In the last few weeks so many handfuls of family members have come up to me saying that they are looking for other facilities for their loved ones. Good for them. I would do the same.

If I hear one more person comment on my relationship I think I'm going to scream.

You know what? Long distance relationships aren't bad things. Mine is actually great, thank you very much. But it's not easy. So if I have to endure one more comment about how talking on the phone is not the equivalent of a date, and that I can't possibly know someone as well because we don't live in the same state, I'm probably going to flip out. I'm going to post a copy of something that I posted on a LDR forum the other day that I feel expresses my relationship completely:

"I was just sitting here thinking about why a lot of us LDR couples tend to fall so quickly for each other, and I think it's because we realize that if this person wasn't extremely special to us, the distance would not be worth it. A lot of times, for couples who met in person first and then were separated shortly after (like me and Colin), we kinda have to sit down very early in the relationship and say, "was this a fling, or are we going to be exclusive now?" whereas most couples who are in CDRs are going to see each other often and don't have to worry about that deadline or time when one person is leaving.

I think just finding someone who you are willing to have a LDR with is pretty powerful, because it can be such a hard experience, and most of the time you have to be very serious about the person to endure that kind of longing and hurting. And in that way, like Mizpah said, you can view the distance as a friend, because it really makes you realize who is worth it, and who is not. And if you find someone who is worth it, it's amazing."

So there, glass-half-empty people in my life. If you don't like my relationship or if you feel the need to make ridiculous comments about it, then you obviously don't understand anything. And you're a jerk.

FINALLY!

http://thewilliambeckettblog.com/post/192565399/saturday-night-music-club-42-something-corporate#disqus_thread


Finally he came out and admitted it. I'm so happy for William and his little family. This is amazing news.

Also, loving the choice of SNMC. It's about time he chose something I know. Something Corporate has my heart always, even though I love Jack's Mannequin to death.

I can't wait for the new TAI EP on Tuesday!