Top 13

The top 13 things I wish people would think about before calling a receptionist (aka, me) – btw, this is about 90% of the phone calls I get:

1. If you’re calling to ask for a number, have a pen and paper ready when you call me. Don’t call me and then make me wait while you scramble around trying to find something.

2. If you’re calling at 8:00 in the morning and you’re really upset because your sister/brother/mother/father/aunt/uncle/friend/etc… doesn’t answer their phone, don’t call me asking me if they’re dead or something. They’re probably still sleeping.

3. No, I can not personally leave my desk to check on your family member.

4. If you call me and say, “Hi Aurora! How’s my mom doing?” I really appreciate that you know me and my name, but if you don’t say yours, then how do I know how your mom is? How do I know who your mom is?

5. If you call between 8 and 9:30 AM, the nurses and CNAs are actually really busy. They have to give everyone their morning meds, breakfast and get every resident up and get them ready to start their day. So if they don’t answer the phone, don’t start yelling about it. Wouldn’t you rather have your family member get their breakfast, meds and get dressed?

6. If you’re trying to find your long lost second cousin, or your neighbor from when you were a kid, and you heard that they’re in a nursing home, but all you know is that their first name is Mary, then sorry, I can’t help you. Do you know how many people are named Mary? If you don’t know a last name or anything else about the person, then I can’t look them up to see if they’re here.

7. If you call me and ask if your Aunt Edith so-and-so is here and I check my list and in our computer records and there is no sign of her, then she isn’t here and never was here. You were fed false information, so please don’t argue with me. Wishing that someone was in the facility doesn’t just make it happen.

8. Not a phone call thing, but if you show up for a tour of the facility because you want your grandmother or your father or whoever to come here, but you don’t have an appointment and no one is available, then you’re not getting a tour. This is my biggest pet peeve. I think it’s so rude when people walk in and demand that they get a tour of the facility without even calling to make sure that someone will be there to give them one first. What I hate even more is when people waltz in, and I say, “so-and-so can give you a tour, but you’ll have a wait a little while, because she’s giving a tour to another family right now (who actually made an appointment!!!)”, and then they get pissy that they have to wait.

9. No, the business office is not open at 5PM on Sunday. They keep normal business hours. Are you at work at 5PM on Sunday? No? Well then don’t complain that they aren’t.

10. If you call me, and then while you’re waiting for me to answer the phone, you start talking to someone else and don’t stop even after I answer the phone, I’m probably going to hang up on you. I usually will say “hello” twice, but if you’re too interesting in what your friend is saying to listen to me, then I’m not going to stick around. I’m busy, and most likely one of my other lines is ringing, so try calling back when you’re not distracted.

11. If you call and say, “Is my mom there?” and I ask who your mom is and you say, “Amy,” and I ask you for a last name, and you say you don’t know (this happens more then you would ever think. People apparently have no idea what their parents names are.), and then I ask you what department she works in and you say you don’t know, then I can’t help you. If you don’t know your own mom and dad’s last name and what their job is, then how am I supposed to know it?

12. If I answer the phone by saying “Good morning/afternoon/evening. This is Saunders House. How can I help you?” (which is what I always say, btw), and you say, “Dietary.” Not even, “Can you transfer me to dietary?” or “Can I speak to the Dietary department?” Then I judge you, because you’re rude and an idiot. Just sayin’. At least say please.

13. If you call and say something along the lines of, "yo, you hiring?" We're not. Even when we are. If you can't inquire about a job in a polite way (or in proper English), then we don't want you working here. We only want nice people.